Kendra Wilkinson and Husband Hank Living Apart???

So...I'm not sure if many of you know who these guys are, but Kendra Wilkinson is currently living apart from her NFL husband Hank Baskett.  The only reason Kendra is famous is for sleeping with Hugh Hefner.  She's not a singer or an actress, although someone should give that girl an oscar for being able to fake an orgasm with Mr. Hefner.  Hank was originally signed to the Phil. Eagles on a one year contract, and after that year was released as a free agent and picked up by the Colts.  After partially being blamed for the losing of the Colts at the 2009 superbowl he was released again.  And come on, who could blame the colts?  Payton needs another ring on that finger, and I'm fairly sure Hank doesn't know what catching a ball means.  On september 22nd, 2010 Hank was picked up by the Vikings.  So now he can screw Farve out of a ring.  While Hank is in Minnisota, Kendra is living in LA trying to get permits for her reality show to be filmed where Hank is living.  Yeah I know by the title of this blog it seems like they are seperated but, GOT YA! To put it bluntly:  NO ONE CARES ABOUT SOME OLD GUYS EX GIRLFRIEND AND SOMETHING SHORT OF AN NFL STAR.  Kendra: Pick up a talent other than being yourself, and Hank: learn to catch that brown thing flying through the air and maybe that statement will change.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The second round of this season of dancing with the stars aired Monday of this week with noted idiot Sarah Palin in the audience supporting her daughter bristol.  First of all let me say, why the hell are you on dancing with the stars Bristol?  No offence to you, but if all it takes is a teen pregnancy to be considered a star than half Detroit should be famous by now.  Move over Angelina Jolie, here comes a 19 year old in her third trimester.  Second, I don't call Sarah an Idiot for my political views, merley just because I have eyes and ears. haha..After Jennifer Grey and her dancing partner Derrick were done being interviewed, there was booing heard in the audience.  ABC claims the booing had nothing to do with host Tom Bergeron starting to interview Sarah Palin but come on ABC, it's Sarah Palin.  Why else would the audience be making a "booing" noise?  I don't think they are working on their ghost impressions, and i'm positive it was not due to Jennifer Grey's amazing performance.  To put it Bluntly: GO BACK TO MOOSE LAND AND YOUR HOCKEY SARAH, BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU + MOST OF AMERICA DON'T MIX.

Harry Potter #9???

In a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey, Oprah asked J.K. Rowling if there was a possibility of writing a new book.  Rowling said that "there is always a possibility" however she is not planning on writing one so far.  Seeing as how she has more money than most third world countries, she sure as hell does not need the cash..I don't know about you guys, but I think Harry Potter is a little worn out.  I think 8 books that are around a billion pages long each is good enough.  As much as I enjoyed me some Harry Potter back in the olden days, (I don't think it's been long enough to call it the olden days but ha too late) I think Harry is a little worn out.  But to put it bluntly: I'll jump on the bandwagon of anything that pushes twilight out of the spotlight.  And by pushes, I mean beats, stabs, and lights on fire.  I'M SO SICK OF TWILIGHT! 

George Michael behind bars

So it's his ultimate dream come true- George Michaels will be placed behind bars with other men for 8 weeks in a london jail.  This is due to his arrest back in July for driving while blazed out of his mind and crashing his range rover into a Snappy Snaps one hour photo.  First of all I want to say GOOD.  Any store called Snappy Snaps should be hit by a range rover.  What a ridiculous name..Second of all- are we honestly surprised?  When isn't George Michaels not stoned or getting arrested.  Michaels issued this statement to his fans: “I want to apologize to my fans for screwing up again, and to promise them I’ll sort myself out.”  To put it bluntly LISTEN GEORGY BOY..WE WILL ALL BELIEVE THIS WHEN WE SEE IT..BUT UNTIL THEN YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE A STONER SEX ADDICT THAT GETS ARRESTED MORE OFTEN THAN PARIS HILTON HIDES COCAINE IN HER PURSE.

Breaking News: There's a new big booty on the AI panel so move over Randy.

Just in case you're the one person who doesn't get it because of the picture above i'll tell you---Jennifer Lopez has been signed to a $12,000,000 deal that lands her as a judge on next season's American Idol.  This is according to a report posted by people.com.  According to a source J-lo is excited about this.  Thanks for the obvious J-lo's special source.  Who wouldn't be excited about 12 million big ones?  Unless you're Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you'd be jumpin for joy over a cool 12 mill.  Good for you J-lo now you can up Mark Anthony's allowance, his bank account was collecting dust faster than a Glitter DVD...(And that's pretty fast folks)  Steven Tyler says he will be joining Jenny on the panel..So American Idol decided to replace Simon Cowell's big mouth literally with a big mouth..(Well at least it made me laugh)  To put it bluntly, AMERICAN IDOL:  SIMON'S GONE AND PUTTING FAMOUS PEOPLE ON YOUR SHOW ISN'T GOING TO BRING VIEWERS BACK.  I GIVE YOUR SHOW JUST AS MUCH HOPE AS PAULA HAING A SUCCESSFUL CAREER FROM NOW ON....

Dear Taylor Swift, Innocent a not-so-swift choice.

 You're still a cheesy songwriter...Sorry Girl.

Listen to the song (after ready my blog- come on it's not that long guys haha) at this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrZFPod9g2w

Alright so we all saw that gay fish of a man Kanye Prick West interrupt Taylor Swift at the 2009 MTV VMA.  Although I admit it was kind of hilarious to watch it, Kanye you're an epic douche for interrupting Taylor...  However Taylor- Girl you have to come up with somethin better than that song.  You are a good songwriter so those cheesy lyrics don't really need to be dedicated to Kanye West whose actions-No matter how "douche like" they might have been- don't really call for these lyrics.  In the song she says "You're still an innocent."   Well duh, he interrupted you at an award show...He didn't rape or pillage or commit an act of treason.  Critics tore this song apart.  Not that they needed too- I think I lost a few brain cells listening to this cheesy song.  Gawker called it "Rediculous" and "Pathetic."  Zap2it made me LAWL the hardest saying "our eyes have never rolled so hard."  So to put it bluntly:  ATTENTION TAYLOR SWIFT: WRITE SOMETHING THAT HAS A STING, NOT MATERIAL FOR KANYE AND THE REST OF THE GAY FISH IN HIS SCHOOL TO LAUGH AT.

But maybe you think I'm  the douche monkey for thinking this..read the lyrics and comment your own opinions..or don't. Thanks for reading ya'll.

Sample of the Lyrics

"It's okay, life is a tough crowd,
Thirty-two and still growing up now...

Time turns flames to embers,
You'll have new Septembers,
Every one of us has messed up, too (ohh),
Minds change like the weather,
I hope you remember,
Today is never too late,
To be brand new (ohhhhhh)

It's all right, just wait and see,
Your string of lights are bright to me (oh!),
Who you are is not where you've been,
You're still an innocent"

Lady GaGa Meat Dress.....

Cher Looks Hungry....HAHA

A trendy topic on twitter right now is "meat dress."  For all of you who did not watch the MTV VMA last night you're probably wondering what the hell a meat dress is...Well let me explain this to you- and trust me after I explain it, your still going to be thinking WTF GAGA!?!?  But come on people of the universe are we really surprised?  It's Lady Gaga..her name says it all.  Now before her crazy kamikazi fans get mad about this post I'm not dissin on the Gaga to be prick or whatever...Gaga is cool.  But come on I've got to say somethin about this...So here it goes.

Listen Lady..You're talented and creative we get it.  But take off the rotting meat and wear somethin else.  You're at the VMA--A place where hundreds of people are compacted into the Nokia theatre.  No one wants to be able to smell your fashion....When people say fashion sense they aren't talking about smell.  Can you imagine how pissed the person that got sat next to Gaga must have been? haha oh that makes me laugh..The first thing I thought when I saw that dress was..Somewhere far far away the members of peta are sharpening their knives and getting ready for battle. 

Lady Gaga/PETA's thoughts

When asked about this meat dress a rep for peta had this to say: "Meat represents bloody violence and suffering, so if that's the look they were going for, they achieved it."   Okay Peta I will say this...An animal should not have to die just so their meat can be worn as a dress..HOWEVER I do not agree with you on what meat represents.  Meat can be a civilized thing...That is if it is not in the hands of Lady Gaga's fashion designer.  (Who might possibly be a total wack job?)

Lady Gaga had this to say on a taping of Ellen that airs today (09/13/2010).   "Well, it is certainly no disrespect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian. As you know, I am the most judgment-free human being on the earth," said Gaga. "However, it has many interpretations but for me this evening. If we don't stand up for what we believe in and if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And, I am not a piece of meat."  Yeah it's kind of a cool idea..But to put it bluntly GAGA...Bitch, you crazy.  This message could have easily been made if you wore a dress with a meat pattern or something a little less...Unsanitary.

If you have something to say about the meat dress...LEAVE ME A COMMENT.  Thanks ya'll : )

2010 VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS- CHELSEA HANDLER + DEADMAU5= ORGASM

So let me start off by saying I have many loves in this world, and ladies and gentlemen, CHELSEA HANDLER and DEADMAU5 top that list.  So when I found out that Chelsea Handler was hosting the 2010 Video Music Awards I shit my pants, cried and had an orgasm.  (Not necessarily in that order either)  Then the VMA's kicked off with DEADMAU5 dj'ing the shindig.  When I saw that mouse bastard of a man doin his thing on stage I put my fist in the air and started pumping like a member of jersey shore.

SUMMIN UP THE NIGHT
Ok so don't judge but I saw the pre show also (yea I have a life it just so happens that I didn't have one tonight) and they gave away two awards on the red carpet before the show even started...I thought this was stupid.  Who even watches the pre show? Well..besides me.  Why would they give out awards when people aren't even watching yet?  Oh, and surprise, surprise guys Lady GaGa one both of these awards.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that.  I can get down to some Lady GaGa every now and then.)  Chelsea Handler was hillarious as always....and looked smokin hot to top it all off.  One of the highlights of the night was when she climbed into a hot tub filled with the cast of Jersey Shore and came out pregnant..But I that should just be expected. (In real life and as a joke).  . .Lady GaGa took home the most awards. . But there was an award or two that didn't go to her (and that's not much of an exageration, shit. I just loved the look on Kesha's face when all the winners walked passed her and her name was never called....LAWL. 





AWARD WINNERS


Video of the Year


Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Best Male Video

Eminem - Not Afraid

Best Female video

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Best New Artist

Justin Bieber -f/Ludacris Baby

Best Hip Hop Video

Eminem - Not Afraid

Best Pop Video

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Best Dance Video

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Best Rock Video

30 Seconds To Mars- Kings and Queens

Best Collaboration

Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé - Telephone

Best choreography

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Best Editing

Lady Gaga -Bad Romance

Best Art Direction

Florence + the Machine -Dog Days Are Over

Best Direction

Lady Gaga -Bad Romance

Best Cinematography

J-Z and Alicia Keyes- Empire State of Mind

Best Special Effects

Muse -Uprising

Breakthrough Video

The Black Keys - Tighten Up

Netflix is Life Changing!

Attention Readers: Netflix has changed my life. 

Not even three weeks ago I somehow managed to live my life netflix free.  I would rent movies from Blockbuster or redbox like everyone else.  That is, until I discovered Netflix.  Netflix has made me a true man.

ABOUT NETFLIX

Now I could list out all of the pros and cons of Netflix, however folks of the internet, i refuse.

With netflix you can order movies online as well as browse through a vast library of movies that you can watch instantly.  When you sign up you get a month free, and they WILL NOT charge your card if you cancel it before you.  Think of how great this is sounding already...I mean you could take off work for a month and watch every movie you know you will ever want to watch and then cancel the membership thus ensuring never spending money on movies ever again.  But since this is completely unrealistic...a month of free movies is still awesome.

BEST FEATURE: Watch Instantly

Watching movies instantly is by far the most T-RIFFIC part of the whole Netflix thang.  If you have a PS3, Wii, or XBOX live account you can watch tons of movies on your TV instantly without having to wait in the mail..Life changing right?  Now ya feelin me?  ITS AWESOME.  They have such a huge selection of great movies from Boondocks Saints - Donnie Darko- Classic Disney Movies- (Don't judge me, I through that in here for all the family oriented ladies and Gents reading this blog) Benjamin Button- Rediculously Crappy Teen movies- Tv series such as The Office (The greatest TV show known to Man&Woman Kind)

Movies By Mail

Even though watching movies instantly is my favorite..I still love to order me some movies in the mail.  You can create a list of movies not available to watch online instantly, and they will be mailed to you in that order.  Once a movie is added, it is sent out immediatley.  Movies take 1-2 business days.  They are sent in a prepaid envalope that you can send back whenever you want Late fee free.  Which is amazing seeing as how I have been known to rack up a wicked late fee in my days of Blockbuster.  When you send them back, the next movie on your list will be mailed out.  It even tells you when you should expect your movie.  You can also upgrade your package to have 3 movies at a time.

AND ITS ONLY $9 A MONTH!---Yeah you can thank me now for teaching you how to make your life 5 times better.  (That might not be an accurate statistic but your life will change..for the better my friend)